Swingers Discussion

Welcome to the Swingers Discussion forum. This forum is for the discussion of everything to do with swinging that doesn't fit into one of our other categories.

Hi, We are The Velvet Heaven Cpl!! Married, she is bi, he is straight. We are looking for fun & friendship. Please be respectful when messaging & hope to see you around.

There's a couple my husband and I have swapped with a few times (we have other couples as well) - from what I am understanding from my husband is that he isn't really attracted to the wife and "took one for the team" because I really liked the husband. I wasn't aware of this and now I don't know how to proceed. We really get along with them and like them a lot. But how can we meet up with them ever again when my husband doesn't want to have sex and I do.

I want to word this carefully to avoid sounding superficial or full of myself, but a recent observation from some close friends got me thinking, and I’m curious to hear others’ perspectives. We have a couple we’re very close to who are more active in the LS than we are. They’re a very good-looking couple and typically seek out other similarly attractive couples. However, I’ve noticed that when the opportunity arises to meet a single female, they seem much more willing, even if she doesn’t match the same "level" of attractiveness as the couples they usually pursue. I understand that unicorn hunting can be more challenging—so for those of you who do it, do you find that you…

You can only list one (save some for the others) Ours is emojis over the faces in pictures and just the use of them in photos overall. Especially when they are so large that all you see is clothes. What the point of the photo at all? You’ve shown us nothing

I’m curious how many experienced swingers have a hall pass when one of you is traveling? My wife and I are exploring that setup. I travel quite a bit. I can play solo when I’m out of town and she can play solo back at home when I’m on the road. That is in addition to our standard schedule of couple swaps when we are in town together. Any good or bad stories or lessons learned from these experiences? I’m traveling this week, she’s playing tonight with a single guy we’ve done MFM’s with before. A few weeks ago, I played solo with a hotwife. So far so good. The one struggle we’ve had is reconnection. We try to schedule play sessions as close to the end of the travel week as …

So we live kind of out there, away from things. I was curious if it is worth it to drive +4hrs to a club and get a hotel room for the night? We're kind of on a tight budget but can manage, and have never been to a club before. Would love some insight on people who go frequently. We're just on the fence atm. We're big introverts, so It's like we're happy not to go and excited to go at the same time.

So my wife (28F) and I(28M) have been together for over a decade. Over our time together, she would comment/praise other women's appearance. I never thought much of it. About 5-6 years ago, we were drinking and she said, "if I was drunk enough, I'd go intrigued. We didn't really bring it back up for some years. Cut to two months ago, she made the same comment. So I said, "okay, do it." She was shocked and in disbelief. I told her, "I don't have a problem with you having a good time with another woman." She then proceeded to elaborate on her fantasies involving a woman. We're actively searching for a woman willing to partake in this experience with her. I'm incredibly turn…

With so many different interests like same/separate room, threesomes, hotwife, full/soft swap, what’s your ideal scenario or dynamic for which you are always in and looking forward for next such experience? What makes this experience so wonderful?

What's your opinion on "taking one for the team"? Would you ask your partner to hook up with someone they aren't attracted to so you could have that person's spouse? Is this a no no in your relationship? Thoughts?

Do you prefer giving or receiving?

I try to keep everything organized while we strip down to play so I have a habit to stuff my socks in my pants pocket. If I wear dark underwear, I would also shove them into my pants pocket. If my wife wears panties for the evening, I would also secure them in my pants pocket. However, the other weekend, I lost my pants, belt and my socks! 🤷‍♂️ Fortunately, that evening, I wore bright colored underwear and my wife didn't wear anything so I still had my underwear to wear leaving the club. 😂

The lifestyle places significance on acceptance and having a welcoming environment. How do you perceive Height, Weight Proportional (HWP) events in relation to those terms?

Would you continue to engage in conversation with someone in a lifestyle setting if you had no physical attraction to them?

Do you like tossing salad (eating ass)?

How many people have you had sex with?

When we attend a swingers party, we follow a set of simple rules that help us stay connected and comfortable. First, we always play together as a couple before engaging with anyone else. This strengthens our bond and ensures we feel secure throughout the evening, we prioritize aftercare together, offering each other comfort and support as we process the experience. After we interact with other couples and singles. If either of us is interested in playing with someone else, we discuss it openly to ensure mutual consent and understanding. Additionally, when I connect with someone online through apps or other platforms, I make sure to let her know right away or vice-versa. T…

Swinging clubs are very hard to find, any help?

Curious to see what the community's take on eating ass in the lifestyle. I've done it a few times and it has always been very well received, my wife has been on the receiving end a couple times with play partners and she enjoys it. It's part of our regular routine at home. I know some people are a hard "no" which is totally fine. But when playing with new partners, ie: in a club, is it on the table? Never? What is your threshold for making the decision when discussing it with playmates?

Just curious, for those experienced swingers, how did you get started, or what made you want to do it?

We're hosting our first party soon (8-11 people) and are looking for sexy game ideas! We've heard of doing jenga and writing fun things on the blocks. Anything else that we can make/buy today? Any suggestions for future parties (something we'd have to buy online)?

I just wanted to hear all of your thoughts on Reclamation Sex. How important is it to your relationship? Is it needed? Is needing it a sign that swinging really isn't for you? I'm curious how you all feel because it's my favorite part of the whole lifestyle.

What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Excluding typical spots like a car, alley, train, etc. Where would you want to have public sex?

We had a SLS membership a few years ago. It was very slow and infuriating to use. A lot of people we knew left SLS on the same note. We stopped our subscription (but kept our free account open). I see their website has improved. We are in New Jersey. Are people finding SLS to be a good resource to meet people as of 2025? Please share your experiences especially those in North Jersey/New Jersey?